Kid Turns Into a Dog Overnight

By Candace and William

Oregon – On Monday, March 30th, HSBI third grader Jacob Johnson turned into a dog. The time he turned into a dog is unclear. The only information about his transformation from his parents is that he morphed overnight. He cannot speak human language; he only barks. For three days he has been acting weirdly at home, which includes not eating dog food and running away from his family. Linguistics are working hard to translate dog language into English. So far they have little success. The only things they can make out are “Help me! I want to be human again!” and “I need food!”

Scientists say that the translator might be able to help Jacob learn how Jacob turned into dog form. “We just need to add a few tweaks to the machine so the translations will be clearer.” This hypothesis worked, and scientists were able to figure out complete sentences of dog language. “It might even solve all the misery of other stray dogs, and understand what they want.”

Doctors say that they have no idea how he turned into a dog. “There is no scientific explanation for this event,” Frankie Franks, cynologist (a person who studies dogs), states. Jacob’s mother, Jamie Johnson, adds, “I don’t get it! I raised my son with all my heart and this is what I get? A dog?!”

Lately, the linguistics are able to tell Jacob’s full story, due to the improvements made to the machine. “I was just dreaming about dogs and I told the dog god to let me be a dog for a month. Now I totally regret what I said, because being a dog is not fun, and it will be a long time until I turn back into a human,” says Jacob, still in a dog form. Doctors are shocked to discover that they didn’t have to perform any medical changes to help Jacob turn back into human; they just had to be patient. Jacob successfully turned back into a human weeks later.

Jacob Johnson, in dog form.

The dog translating machine

Cats or Dogs: The Everlasting Fight

By: Candace

Many people like dogs in my class. Less than 5 people favor cats more than dogs. But are dogs all that good? The fact is that more people in the world own cats than dogs. In fact, cats are the second most popular pet under fish. About 86 million people own cats and only 78 million own dogs. That’s still a lot, but there’s that big difference!

Why do more people own cats than dogs? In my opinion, there are many reasons. One might be because average cats cost less than dogs. To tell the truth I think more older people own cats because cats are great and loving companions. They are also easier to take care of and don’t need to be taken for walks. Cats are always quieter than dogs, too. Of course, cats can help take care of rodents in the house.

Cats are cute animals in so many reasons, and there are many! Cats actually have manners. Everyone knows that most dogs run around barking and yapping when they see something new. Cats are more cautious and wait until they know it’s safe. Cats also smell better than dogs because they groom themselves most of the time. Dogs don’t care if they’re dirty or not.

Cats are much more careful with their belongings. Have you ever seen a dog’s toys? They are normally in tatters, unless they’ve been swallowed. Entertaining a cat is more easier, too. Cats are more generous than dogs. Lastly, cats can be easily read. They purr and hiss. Another way to tell how they’re feeling is their tail and their fur. An upright tail and not bristled fur means a friendly cat. A tail at rest with tip curved up means a happy cat. A curved tail with a moving tip is an annoyed cat. A tail whipping back and forth is telling you to stay away. And an upright tail with fully bristled fur is your attacking cat.

These are the many reasons why cats are way better than dogs. They’re easier to take care of and more loving and gentle. So many people own more cats than dogs, since they’re more advantaged than dogs. Much, much more!

Desired Pets

By Lori

According to a poll conducted at IBSH elementary school by the Lemur staff in the fall of 2014, students from grade 1-6 were asked what kind of pet they would want to  have and the results were that 18% of the students chose cats, 40% chose dogs, 22% chose hamsters, 6% chose fish, 4% chose birds, 6% chose rabbits, and finally, 2% chose nothing.