Kid Turns Into a Dog Overnight

By Candace and William

Oregon – On Monday, March 30th, HSBI third grader Jacob Johnson turned into a dog. The time he turned into a dog is unclear. The only information about his transformation from his parents is that he morphed overnight. He cannot speak human language; he only barks. For three days he has been acting weirdly at home, which includes not eating dog food and running away from his family. Linguistics are working hard to translate dog language into English. So far they have little success. The only things they can make out are “Help me! I want to be human again!” and “I need food!”

Scientists say that the translator might be able to help Jacob learn how Jacob turned into dog form. “We just need to add a few tweaks to the machine so the translations will be clearer.” This hypothesis worked, and scientists were able to figure out complete sentences of dog language. “It might even solve all the misery of other stray dogs, and understand what they want.”

Doctors say that they have no idea how he turned into a dog. “There is no scientific explanation for this event,” Frankie Franks, cynologist (a person who studies dogs), states. Jacob’s mother, Jamie Johnson, adds, “I don’t get it! I raised my son with all my heart and this is what I get? A dog?!”

Lately, the linguistics are able to tell Jacob’s full story, due to the improvements made to the machine. “I was just dreaming about dogs and I told the dog god to let me be a dog for a month. Now I totally regret what I said, because being a dog is not fun, and it will be a long time until I turn back into a human,” says Jacob, still in a dog form. Doctors are shocked to discover that they didn’t have to perform any medical changes to help Jacob turn back into human; they just had to be patient. Jacob successfully turned back into a human weeks later.

Jacob Johnson, in dog form.
Jacob Johnson, in dog form.
The dog translating machine
The dog translating machine
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