A Devil’s Wrath : The Battle of the Dead

The Duel to DEATH

By: Lexi & Cassie

On Friday, March 25th, Casey Poo, a 2-year old devil who lives underneath Disneyland, saw a vampire. She screamed and smacked the vampire on his rear end. The vampire shrieked and bit in a hamburger to suppress his screams. And then he grew into a mushroom.

“What are you?” Casey shouted.

Well, of course, since the vampire became a mushroom, he doesn’t talk. He stared at Casey with big goggling eyes.

Casey reported this to the local police station who gave her a lollipop and told her to go home. Casey refused and stayed shut in the police’s bathroom licking her lollipop. She was in there for three days sucking toilet water and then the police got fed up with her and gave her another lollipop.

After leaving the police station, Casey visited her cyclops teacher, Mr. Gluteus Maximus, who gave her a lollipop and then asked her what had happened. Casey was relieved so she told him the whole story, but when she was half way through, Mr. G fell on the floor and started snoring.

Reports say that Casey was so furious that she raised her blivet and sent him straight to Hell to live his life as a snorebug.

When the police came for her, she let out a high-pitched screech and cast the police to Hell. As Casey became more of a threat to the human world, one girl stepped up and challenged her to a duel.

As every human waited for this fatal December night to pass, Casey cracked her knuckles and glared at her opponent. Haley Williams was short and didn’t look very tough. She should be easy to beat, thought the devil.

“If you win, which is totally impossible, I will free all of the people in Hell and you shall become a god” Casey smirked.

“Well, I think you are totally underestimating me, devil” Haley replied with confidence.

The fighting began. Casey made the first move. Haley ducked the punch directed at her jaw and then step sided Casey. Haley then kicked the devil in the shins and smashed her nose flat. As Casey flailed, Haley knocked her to the ground and blood spurted out of her mouth.

Reports say that the devil had been tortured until her last words, “This is not the end, you poop head” No, this isn’t really what it said. One reporter had actually witnessed the devil’s wrath. He said, “It muttered something undecipherable, in a raspy language”.


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