North America Gone; JIP on the Move

By Nathan Wang and Jasper Chaung

On Thursday, March 24, a fleet of giant UFOs suddenly sucked up North America. The attack was unexpected and no group claimed responsibility for the action. JIP (JasperisPro), an infamous terrorist group, is now jubilant because a major obstacle: the U.S, was now eliminated. Many people suspect that JIP was behind the attack, but a confirmation sent from NASA’s Mars rover¬†Curiosity that had been spying on their base on Mars, said that no spaceships belonging to JIP were launched.

“Never have we had such a tragic UFO abduction.” said the head of JasperisPro Jasper Chuang sarcastically. Jasper’s second in hand FluffyBro, said: “Now we will dominate you with our OP army of fluffy unicorns!!! Everyone everywhere will succumb and bow down to our will!!!” Russia, England, Germany, France, Austria Hungary, Japan, and China are currently mustering soldiers prepared to end the infamous terrorist group stationed on Mars.


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